This last couple of weeks has been rough emotionally and physically draining. A neighbor and friend passed away. It was two weeks ago she was here in my living room animated, laughing, joking around and talking about the changes she was making to be healthier. We talked about what she would get on our next shopping trip the first of the month when her food stamps came in, much more nutritious foods, with juices and water instead of soda and energy drinks. Her new pain management doctor had given her great advice on how to ease her physical pain, and exercises that would strengthen her muscles to ease the pain in her joints. She was looking forward and excited about the changes she would make. She had manic depressive disorder, epilepsy, and was frequently in a lot of pain. She had many doctors give her so many pills just to mask the pains, but they kept wanting to give her the newer drugs that were supposed to help with her epilepsy as well as help the other problems. But they just were not working the way they were supposed to and her seizures were becoming more frequent. Her primary doctor had given her several tests, and even after a small stroke they were not addressing the problems she had. Perhaps she didn't tell all the doctors she had all of her problems, but I think she tried. I just don’t think the psychiatric people took her seriously. She knew which meds she should or shouldn’t take together, she kept logs as to what she had taken and when, written in crayon in large letters because she couldn't see well and needed glasses badly. She was only 33 years old, was a widow for the last 5 ½ years, and had gone from being a recluse to a socially active person in the last year since she began going to group therapy and had met other neighbors besides me. But she had also begun to come to our houses to see us instead of the other way around, and we never suspected she had gone from just being messy to hording. She had to depend on her father and friends for money, she couldn't drive because of the epilepsy, and her garbage pick-up had been shut off, her phone was off, her AC had gone out and she had been without water because her pump had gone out months ago until just recently. Her father often let her house go into foreclosure and that scared her tremendously. She had her cats for company and her friends in online chats when she had a phone. But for the last month she had no phone and often came here to call her dad to ask for help. The temperature was 115o F on the last day I saw her. She was found dead on the floor the next morning only because the man who fixed her AC couldn't get an answer and her friend went inside to see why she wouldn't answer the door. We still are waiting on the autopsy to know for sure what it was that caused her death; the memorial service was last weekend. I still look for her to come with her tiny tap at the door or her phone text of something funny or complaining about something or someone. She was the most giving and loving person, even though she had nothing she would take in a stray cat, use the last of her food stamp money to get a neighbor’s child some milk, and let a friend put his camper in her yard and use her electric even though he never had money to pay for it. She trusted even when it was not merited. I am going to miss her, her comedic way of dealing with problems and her way of changing to fit whoever her friends needed her to be at the time. She told each of us only portions of her problems, no one had the complete story. She grieved for her husband often, and now hopefully she is with him again. I look out my back window and wish she was coming through the gate we put in for her. Coming to borrow some cat food, some food for herself, or ask for a ride, or for some money for her doctor appointment, or to see if she could use my phone, or complain about her family fighting and wished they all could get along. She said it was the constant bickering that kept her here and not with them in California, but she was lonely and her cats were her children. May they find good homes; I couldn't take them, even though I wanted to. I will miss her.
No comments:
Post a Comment